Don’t pick up baby deer

Transitioning to country life —whether from jungle, sea or city—  requires learning local customs to avoid calling attention to yourself.

For instance, don’t pick up baby deer.

Just because there’s so many all around and they’re so damned cute (big brown eyes and spindly legs just like Bambi), you cannot gather a bouquet of them as a gift for someone you love.

Not even on Valentine’s Day, birthdays or anniversaries.

Nope. Don’t do it says the DNR (Department of Natural Resources). Leave ‘em alone. Don’t try to pet them or pick them up. They say the mother is probably somewhere near. Hiding. Like I am. Unless you already found her with your AR-50. In that case, hide the AR-50 and call the DNR at (803) 734-3898  to come get Bambi.

PS fyi, if I see a baby deer I’m gonna wanna try to pet it. And then I’m gonna wanna let it hang out all the time, use the TV remote when it wants.

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— Tim Bryant
Author of Blue Rubber Pool

Surf Director at Pineapple Hill